In my last post, I suggested the first two (and most important) steps to recover from the damage that adultery does to a marriage—get real about the wreckage and get back to God’s grace.
What then? Here’s the next step I offer couples I am counseling:
3. Get others involved
This is the hardest step for most couples. The shame and embarrassment of certain sins keep most of us quiet, especially around close friends and church family. Worst-case assumptions flood... Read More
Recently, many have rebuked renowned astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson for his latest tweet. In response to the mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton, Tyson tweeted:
In the past 48hrs, the USA horrifically lost 34 people to mass shootings. On average, across any 48hrs, we also lose . . . 500 to Medical errors, 300 to the Flu, 250 to Suicide, 200 to Car Accidents, 40 to Homicide via Handgun. Often our emotions respond more to spectacle than to data.... Read More
One year ago I was stressing out. I realized my oldest was leaving home in a year—and my other two would be following quickly. There was still so much we had to teach them, and so much they had to learn. Time was running out!
I’m fairly certain I started making a mental list of the things they had to know or they might not make it in the world. I can’t remember what was all on that list, because... Read More
Years ago, Billy Graham was respected for a personal rule he held that has become known as the Billy Graham rule. The popular Evangelical preacher would not allow himself to be alone with a woman who was not his wife. It used to be seen as honorable. Now, when people like the vice president or a Mississippi gubernatorial candidate try to follow the same rule for themselves, it’s sharply criticized as insulting, demeaning toward women, and downright silly.
What are... Read More
It’s been almost a month since I turned on my laptop. I couldn’t even find the charger. When I finally turned it on, my last writing session popped on the screen:
“Anna never took the time to just sit. Now that her husband and children were on their way to their evening of fun, she sat purposefully on her black wicker couch on the deck. Sunset set the sky on fire with shades of orange and yellow, hues of red... Read More
What do you do after your husband caves in to your suspicions and tells you his mistress’ name? Or when you discover the details of your wife’s affair, how do you escape the horrific hole that your heart can’t claw its way out of? When your best friend breaks down with the news of her devastated marriage, what do you say?
I would be verbally stabbing countless hurting people in the heart if I suggested a quick fix for something... Read More
It happened in the blink of an eye.
Fourteen years ago, we were at the playground with a group of friends. My son was six months old, and my middle child was two. My oldest hadn’t yet turned four. One minute she was playing—and the next, I couldn’t find her.
I started the search, frantically calling for her and looking for her white shirt, while another mom stayed with the other two. Wouldn’t you know it, that’s the day a... Read More
It’s easy to look at this world and see the ways it’s broken. Stories of human trafficking, shootings at garlic festivals, parents accidentally leaving children in hot cars, and more are strewn across the headlines. And then there are the things that don’t necessarily make the news: poverty, hunger, families being torn apart, family members dying. We see so much misery that we’re overwhelmed—and tempted to check out emotionally.
But checking out isn’t the way to show Jesus’ love to... Read More
When was the last time you were completely overwhelmed? If you have a job outside the home, stay at home, work with people, have any association with family members of any age, and/or are still breathing, my guess is it hasn’t been all that long. Perhaps the peaceful parts of your life are falling like dominoes, or one of the people who hate you ups the drama for good measure. The light turns red. Someone loses something. You lock yourself... Read More
Recently I made the mistake (again) of telling the wrong people about my problems. If I tell you what happened, do you promise to be compassionate? If so, read on.
As I get closer to 40, my body is agreeing with Romans chapter 8 that our bodies are in “bondage to decay” (verse 21). My right Achilles takes a good hour to stop spazzing out every morning. My joints and cartilage creak and crackle with every deep knee bend. My... Read More